- After I bumped into her while we were both putting our makeup on in the bathroom & apologized: "It's OK! My bum just wanted to say hello to your bum."
- While walking through the Cleveland Park Metro station looking at the ground: "You always have to look where you're walking in case there might be some spit."
- Stopping by my office before finally grabbing a very late lunch: "I like that time before I eat when I'm REALLY hungry. It makes me feel thin."
- Sitting at a bus stop: "Are you sure this is a bus stop?"
- Checking out the bus driver's neon orange & yellow WMATA vest: "I thought that was some jazzy African cloth, but it turned out just to be her bus driver attire. I almost asked her where she got it. I'm glad I didn't!"
- After my observation that California Tortilla's new teriyaki burrito sounds absolutely foul: "Well, that's a bastard child if I ever saw one."
But payback's a bitch:
But let's get serious. I got some good genes!