The Midwest has a pretty uncanny ability to turn out lawn ornament-loving homeowners. Case in point is this photo, taken Christmas of 2007 a few miles from my house:
Heinous, I know. How do you think Jesus would feel knowing that his birth is celebrated with inflatable moose? On second thought, I'd be pretty jazzed if I learned someone was celebrating my birthday with inflatable moose, but I guess that's beside the point, which is this: The District has also proven itself home to some pretty admirable yard decor, too.
During Snowpocalypse, of course, there were snowmen galore. And let's be clear: There's nothing shameful about snowmen. I haven't built one since I was in high school, but I fully respect the ability of other snowgoers to create works of art out of everyone's least favorite precipitation. I have neither the patience nor the upper-arm strength to make these friends of Frosty happen myself, but will you just look at this snowman? It's behemoth. And I am clearly joyful, standing under its massive shadow on a cold winter's day following bottomless bellinis.
Now that it's almost summer, the snowmen are clearly a thing of the past. Now, we've moved on to topiaries. Yes, topiaries - bushes shaped like other things. Ever been to Disney World? Disney World is the king of topiaries, with Jiminey Cricket & the Cheshire Cat staring at you through leafy eyes at every turn. But while an amusement park - nay, the Most Magical Place on Earth - is a proper place for cartoon topiaries, D.C. lawns may not be. But that's not stopping a Dupont family from carving reindeer into their front-yard flora:
Wait, wait, there's another.
And yes, THEY HAVE ANTLERS. And Christmas lights. In June.
But lest you think the good crazies of Washington, D.C. only feature winter creatures on their lawn canvasses, I'm here to reassure you that signs of the season are all around us:
I hope it was someone's birthday, which is the only excuse for hot pink, plastic lawn birds. Also, I wish I had a yard.