In the summer, I think about this song a lot. And yes, this song is all about how no one likes having sex when it's a million degrees out. But for me, the point is also that I don't like doing anything when it's a million degrees out, including that. I don't like going outside. I hardly like being inside. I don't like walking, much less exercising. Hell, I don't like moving, period.
Much to my dismay, I am an abnormally sweaty individual. I know, that's a less-than-glamorous thing to say or whatever, but it is what it is: I'm a sweater. I'm almost 28 years old, & if it hasn't changed yet, it's probably never going to. Though I haven't yet quite accepted that fate, I have the sense to admit that it's probably true.
As you can imagine, being sweaty is not exactly a desirable quality in a woman. In general, being sweaty means being disgusting. Being sweaty means that when I leave my house looking beautiful(ish) & well-coifed, I inevitably arrive at my destination looking schlumpy - & depending on the weather & my activity level, I get schlumpier as the day goes on. Being sweaty means that I lie & say I loathe dancing only because cannot do it without looking like I just fell into a swimming pool. Being sweaty means that any outdoor endeavor is a miserable one, from being at the beach to walking down the block. Being sweaty means doing double-time on laundry duty because I sometimes change multiple times in a single day.
Think I'm exaggerating? I wear Old Spice, y'all; I'm a 27-year-old woman who wears a deodorant designed for ripped male athletes & smelly dudes with beer bellies. Further contributing to my problem is that fact that I stupidly got bangs in May, of all times, which ups my facial sweatiness factor by at least 15%. I wear shorts under all my dresses to eliminate, or at least ameliorate, the dreaded chub rub. I buy oil blotting sheets & dry shampoo like they're going out of style. And so on.
It's safe to say that from May to September, I feel comfortable only when standing absolutely still in a highly air-conditioned room. But because the weather in New Jersey has hovered between sweltering & boiling all month & because the A/C in my new apartment hovers somewhere between minimally useful & wholly useless, I'm really struggling to make it through this summer without melting into a sad puddle of goo.
In summary: It's too darn hot. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go stick my head in the freezer.
Images: First image found here but can't locate original source; second image found here with no original source cited